I realised that wherever I am, wherever I go
I'm not really happy . Maybe I'm not happy with myself. Or I never prioritize my happiness. Or I'm just always making excuses to NOT get my own happiness, because deep down I feel I don't deserve any of it. I wonder why. Is it because as a kid, I was always neglected and ignored? How sad. I always believe that everything goes back to the childhood. And having that knowledge empowers us all.
And I hate fighting for my own happiness, for people to respect me. I always want everything to be... Natural.
Which 99.9% of the time, it's not natural.
In any case, I always go back to thinking that night when I was so drunk, I was on the ledge, I could just be the next headliner of tabloid news.
Girl, 23, fell from height in campus premises. Died on impact.
In a parallel universe, that could be me.
I'm literally tired of living.